Saturday, April 16, 2011

HOW TO BE THE BIGGEST ASS. . .

HELLO FANS:

Do you remember when people possessed a little thing called talent?  You know, that thing or that gift that was given to each and every person by a higher power?  It was that very gift that makes some of us famous, and assists us in paying the bills and making a better way for ourselves and family.

Nowadays, talent is only half of the battle for most of us.  It's not how well you sing, or how well you can act, nor how well you may write, but rather, how much of an ass you can make of yourself.  That's right, you read my words correctly.  Talent today only counts for five percent of your special gift, and the other ninety-five, well, folks, let's just say it all depends on how much you're willing to sell of yourself.

Being a big ass today, (and I don't mean the Kim Kardashian or J-Lo types of asses), means how much you are willing to make a complete and utter fool of yourself to make a quick buck, or to sell what talent you started out with.

For example, have you ever noticed that a huge scandal breaks when one of your favorite recording artists' CD is about to drop or when a movie isn't likely to do well in the market, and all of a sudden, you start to hear rumors about the stars playing in the movie.  You can turn on any TV talk show, and up pops your singers or actors explaining that this was no publicity stunt to get the sales, or to boost their ratings, and yet and still, that's exactly what ends up happening.

Hmm, I don't know about you, but one has to wonder was this a well-thought out marketing strategy to get the public (us) to buy what bullshit our favorite entertainers are selling?  While you ponder on that, let me give you a few examples.

Remember the whole Rihanna and Chris Brown fiasco?  You couldn't turn on the TV or radio without someone and their son talking about that whole mess.  How Chris beat up Rihanna and the photoshop pics allegedly on TMZ, etc.  It was reported that Chris' career was ruined and what type of message were they sending to our youth?  Funny, Rihanna came out in Rolling Stones Magazine last month with a mind-blowing article about her most intimate sexual fantasies of how she likes to be tied up and down, and more importantly, to be beaten!  Chris Brown had a meltdown on Good Morning America, and interestingly enough, his latest album came out right around this same time.  Either you've got to be the dumbest person in the world, or the smartest marketer that ever graced the planet, and, to further prove my point, we the people bought into it, and most are loving them again.  And their record sales are soaring!

Lately, Kelly Rowland, who was one-part of the infamous trio Destiny's Child, has been rumored to be coming out with a sex tape.  I find that to be very interesting seeing as how she has a new album coming out.  And trust me, fans, the list goes on.  Rapper, Foxy Brown, was allegedly kicked off The Party With a Purpose (Tom Joyner Morning Show) Cruise, although Miss Brown disputes this happened or that it happened the way it was reported.  Nonetheless, whether you're selling a book, singing or acting, the bigger the ass you make of yourself, the bigger your bank roll!

And when all else fails, if you had talent and made mega millions off of it, and you've been out of the limelight for a while or possibly years~~don't sweat it, because Reality TV got you covered!

Are you experiencing bankruptcy, going through a divorce, had children out of wedlock, married to a famous athlete, have been the mistress of a famous athlete, or moving in with your famous mother, or kicking your famous parent out of the house, prostituting yourself out looking for love, want to marry someone you never met, or possibly be the apprentice of some rich typhoon?  No worries!  Because no matter what the poison is, getting your own reality show will put you back in the game, and more importantly, make that bank roll so fat, you'd never be able to get your hand around it.  This is what talent is today~~put forth all your personal business and let a camera crew follow you around, and the American public will tune in each and every week to see what drama you have going on, or how they may vote you off a particular show!

So Indie Authors I say to you, perhaps if you do one or more of the following above, you, too, can be the next best-selling author.  Why, you don't need much talent, but if you look pretty decent, and want to sell yourself, tell all your business and let a camera crew follow you around~~why golly gee you will be the next star.  It all depends on how much of an ass you're willing to be!  It's the new form of talent, or recycled talent, for those who were out of the spotlight, and now want to get back in.  The American public will rush out and buy those CDs and DVDs and biographies to see and read all the dirt because some choose to  make themselves bigger asses than the last.

In today's society, you don't have to possess any talent, just be the biggest ass you can be, and you're an overnight success!  I suppose for some, that is their talent?  Think about how much time and energy you put into marketing yourself to get the American public to notice you and your books!  How much are you willing to sell, to get yourself noticed?  I know what I choose to do, but the decision is totally and completely up to you!  Remember, what you put out on the Internet and in the public eye, will be there forever!  People may forget, but there is always the chance someone is able to dig up your past!  I strongly urge you to think before you do!


                                                       Kimberly Ranee Hicks, Author/Poet