It’s a brand new year—a time to get yourself in order and get your mind right. There isn’t any time to waste. If you’ve wanted to start that novel, but never got around to doing it, what the hell are you waiting on?
One thing I’ve learned as I watch my dream blossom more and more is nothing can stop me but me. The only thing standing in my way is standing in my way. Five years ago, I finally decided it was time to stop saying I’m a writer, and be the writer I was born to be. So, I began the grueling task of outlining Mello & June and wrote my first novel. I didn’t publish it until November of 2009, but I knew I was onto something great.
While thinking back upon my writing journey, I sometimes get frustrated that I wasted so many years not doing what I said I was created to do—write! And that’s when a huge revelation smacked me atop of my head. It wasn’t my time to do any of the things I’ve been doing these last five years. Confused? Don’t worry, so was I, but I have finally found my path.
I realize now that everything I’ve been through, all the trauma, drama, highs and lows of my life was presented to me for a reason. For all that I aspire to be, I had to go through those things in order to get to the place where I am now. What’s so wonderful about that is, everything I’m dealing with currently, is preparing me for even bigger and better things in the future. So that left me with a burning question. Did I really waste many of my writing years? The answer is no.
Although I have wasted time on stupid things, what person hasn’t, but my experiences I’ve been through were preparing me for this very moment. But how could I have possibly known what was to come? The funny thing is, I always knew, I just didn’t know when it would happen. I think my ah-ha moment came for me when I got fed up with the career I chose that pays my bills. I just kept thinking with each passing year, is this all there is to my life? Is this how the rest of my life is going to go—get up, go to work, come home, and eventually retire, if possible? Retirement is almost a thing of the past these days, but what’s important to remember is it got me to thinking.
What is the purpose of dreaming, if you don’t see any of your dreams come true? Why imagine what the future may hold, if you don’t have faith and aspire to do something with your life other than what you are doing to pay your bills? Who said I can’t make a new career for myself? Who said I can’t do what I love? Where is it written I can’t do what I set my mind to do? I realized I was standing in my own way, but by standing there, I was also pushing myself to another level without realizing it. I never stopped dreaming and I never ever stopped writing, I just sat back until it was time for my gift to be received.
Make no mistake, my gift has been received by many and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. To have fans say to me that my work has left an impression on them and is still talking about my novels, is the highest honor an author can receive. I’m often asked what do I want my readers to come away with, and simply put, I want them to get the lesson I’m teaching. I write for the sole purpose of educating others. My success has been slow crawling, and I’ve learned to accept that. There are some indie authors out here that receive lots of glory—selling several thousands, if not millions of eBooks on Kindle or Nook, and I sit back and wonder what is it about their stories that have so many readers flocking to it? Another revelation occurred to me. My writing style is very different, and what I write about is not the same typical stuff that many authors write about. I pride myself on being different, and I will stay that way.
I’ve learned to listen to my reading audience, and although I know many of them read a multitude of genres, one thing I’m always told by them is that my stories aren’t like others they’ve read, and that’s a great thing. But at the same time, it is also the reason why my success is so slow because what I write isn’t the standard subjects writers choose to tell. So, in essence, I’ve found my voice, and I’m sticking to it. I will never do what others do—not ever! And if I choose a genre that others write about, I can guarantee you, it will not be like any other you’ve read.
I love that I’m a unique person, but I remember a time when being different was a rather difficult thing for me to deal with. It was a constant struggle worrying about what others thought of me. I’d get upset because I wasn’t accepted, so I hid within myself and wrote out of frustration secretly. Only a precious few people knew of my writing talent because I was a coward afraid to be rejected by the world because of the way I had been rejected by my peers. Just writing these words on this blog is laughable to me now. I was hated, envied and ridiculed by children I grew up with because they could see something I possessed—my uniqueness.
Wow, I’m so not that young, terrified little girl anymore. I’m so far from that child; I can’t even believe I allowed others to make me feel not worthy to be on the earth. I know now that I serve a purpose, and that my faith has gotten me this far in life, and will continue to push me to the next level. I allowed others to hold me back! I allowed myself to hold me back! But no more! No, I haven’t wasted any of my writing years. It’s my time to shine and my sun seekers gravitate toward my rays. I’m no longer afraid of what others think—in fact, I really don’t give a fuck one way or the other! I am a woman of substance—a woman with a vision—a woman with a plan—a child of God and—a work in progress. I know my limitations. I know who I am and I embrace me! I’ve finally gotten my head right. I’ve finally matured into the woman I’m supposed to be, and I’m doing exactly what God has intended for me to do. I’m living my life like it’s golden, because it is!
See, Fans, that’s the purpose of this post. Some of you may be dealing with the exact same things I have gone through. You may be tucked away in your shell afraid of the unknown and that empty space out there not knowing what’s ahead. I write my story to help you see that no matter what it is you’re going through, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. There is truly nothing stopping you, but you! I don’t care what your dreams are—you owe it to yourself to go for it and get the happiness you so rightly deserve. Humans were not meant to suffer and be miserable. You are meant to experience joy—and of course there is going to be sorrow sometime, but you’ve got to make the best use of the time you’ve been granted while here—which is why there’s no time to waste! You have no idea how much time you have left, so why waste your precious minutes?
So, I’m going to ask you again! It’s 2012 and what the hell are you waiting on? Who’s stopping you? What traumatic ghost lies deep within your past lurking in your future hindering you from being all that YOU can be? Only YOU can stop you! This is the Year of the Indie Author, and I approve this message! (chuckle)
Until Next Weekend, stay focused, get your mind right, and handle business!
|Kimberly Ranee Hicks, Author/Poet|
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