I’ve been writing a great deal about Social Media because that seems to be what makes our world go around. And as a result, there’s so much information to be had, it can be mind boggling, but what I find even more mind blowing is what other’s seem to want from me.
Is it just me or have you noticed that people tend to say and do just about anything to you without batting an eye? Does it appear that these same individuals just throw caution to the wind and don’t give a damn whether or not you have any feelings, let alone giving a damn what poison emits from their mouths?
Why is it we think we’re entitled to personal information from others? What happened to being discreet and keeping your business on the down low, rather than someone trying to grasp the low down on your personal life? No matter where you place on the human scale, there is someone judging, writing, or talking about you regardless if it hurts or not!
I’ve had complete strangers, as well as those I know, ask me personal questions about why I do certain things to my personal appearance or why I chose a certain food to bring for my lunch, to the kind of vehicle I drive, or questions about my family, to what makes me tick as a person. When those questions are posed to me, I’m always left wondering what in the world would make a person ask such things. Or better yet, why does it matter to them or what the hell business is it of theirs that I have to even ponder on how I’m going to answer them in the first place. Am I on trial here, and if so, who made you the judge and executioner of my life. Humph, it is my life, is it not?
I’m just beside myself with wondering where people get off interrogating me about me! Who the hell are these people, and what gives them the right to ask me anything that doesn’t directly affect their lives? The funny thing is I never thought I would get an answer to that question, until one day my mother said something to me that made no sense, but then made all the sense in the world. She said that due to the fact there are so many reality shows on TV and so many people open their lives up to the world, everyone else feels they have a right to know what is going on in your personal life.
At first I’m like what the heck is she talking about, and then the more I thought about what she said, the more sense it began to make. She’s absolutely right. There was my epiphany and aah ha moment! Society has gotten so used to being invited into the personal lives of entertainers, whether scripted or not, most feel the same should apply to people they know. Somehow people have twisted reality TV with actual real life. The line can no longer be deciphered. To go a step further, my grandmother used to say something to the effect of “what I eat don’t make you sh*t!” May sound harsh, but she was one hundred percent right. What she did with her body and decisions she made for her personal well-being had absolutely no bearing on anyone else. Unless what you’re doing to yourself directly impacts those around you, what difference should it make to you what a person does to his or her self?
Apparently, what I do seems to make a world of difference for many around me. If I decide to wear a wig, or get a weave in my hair, or change my own natural hair color to suit my needs, for some damn reason, I have to get interrogated about it. If I decide to bring my lunch to work or have several little containers or whatever I bring with me, for some reason, I’ve got to get asked why am I eating that or why did I bring that in. Because I like to dress up and look nice, for some reason, I’ve got to get interrogated about why am I dressed a certain way? If I were to respond to the interrogator by stating if they are comfortable looking like a bag of rags, then my response would be wrong—right? If I respond by stating if you like your hair looking a hot mess, I’d be wrong—right? If I respond by stating what I eat don’t make you sh*t, I’d be considered rude and ignorant—right?
You get my point! My mother would have beat me senseless if I went around asking people personal questions that was none of my damn business, but it’s extremely obvious that most weren’t raised the way I was. Trust me, this is very clear. It is highly insensitive and rude to ask people why they eat what they’re eating, or ask about a person’s personal appearance, or anything that doesn’t directly affect you! So. . .why do people do it? Sometimes these individuals think they’re being clever. Sometimes they do it to try and make you feel embarrassed about yourself—but what most fail to realize, I would never do anything that is going to embarrass myself. You can best believe, if I’m embarrassed by it, you’ll never know. I have much better sense than to do that, so why comment and say anything at all, right?
The fact of the matter is people just don’t care. I’ve been told that often times people are innocent and really don’t know what they are saying so it’s just harmless. But I couldn’t disagree more. People know exactly what they’re doing and how they’re doing it and the bottom line is they don’t really give a damn, just like I stated above. I’m the type of person who relishes in change and I embrace it. I love to do things that are different and I have always been the type who thinks outside the box. That is a term most say now, but I’ve always been like that, so this is nothing new to me. In fact, it’s new to most of you, but not to a creative type like me. I’m always moving forward and thinking of ways to reinvent myself, and if that means, changing my hair or my clothes, I’ll do that. But YOU do not get to question me about it because it’s none of your business what I do to me, and, more importantly, why I do it!
As I have said many times before, gone are the days when I cared about what others think of me. I do care how I present myself to the world and I do try to conduct myself accordingly, but at the end of the day, when I do something I want to do, it’s just that—my decision, my rules, and I don’t give a damn if you like it or not, and I don’t have to be subjected to your ridiculous interrogations. Let’s be absolutely clear here, what you see on TV is just that—TV, but I don’t have a camera crew following me around. I’m not paid to air all my dirty laundry and act like a total ass for the world to see. I’m a woman who minds her own business and handles it accordingly. And it is my wish that some of you do likewise and stay the hell out of grown folks business, ‘cause I could care less what you do. Other’s lives are not that interesting to me that I need to know every single thing about them. The way I see it, if someone wanted me to know about their life, I’m sure they will let me know, and if not, no skin off my back!
What many of you need to do is concentrate on what your role is in your life and put a plan into action and, to coin a phrase from Tamar Braxton, get your life, because my life is not an open book for you to read. Sure, I write novels, but my personal life isn’t your business. And that is the way I plan to keep it. If I want you to know something, I’ll tell you, but wait for me to come to you, and not the other way around!
I think many individuals have lost touch with real reality. Be more concerned with working on you, and stop worrying so much about other people’s personal information. If they don’t invite you in, there’s a reason! If you’re not a journalist or a reporter interviewing me about something I’ve done creatively, then you don’t get to ask me questions. And even then, depending on what is asked, will depend greatly on how I respond. These individuals need to know you leave the door open for whatever response I yield, so if you don’t want my rude or abrupt answer, don’t ask me personal questions that do not pertain to you, and the world will be just fine!
Kimberly Ranee Hicks, Author/Poet
Worry About YOU!