One thing I've noticed as I'm getting older is how much I abhor complaining. It seems like anymore, all I ever hear is what someone doesn't want or doesn't need, or doesn't like and hates this and hates that, and it's all rather negative. And to keep it one hundred with ya, quite frankly, I'm tired of people's bitching.
Sure, there are a multitude of things I don't like, but let's be honest, do you really want to hear about them? I think of all of the time I've wasted complaining about matters and situations and got absolutely no where. What I managed to do is talk it out, but it certainly didn't change what is. So, I ask you readers, why do we complain?
I love the catch phrase "It is what it is" because it's the honest to God's truth. Why are you complaining about something you have absolutely no control over? Why do you waste your precious time worrying over things that you are powerless to do anything about? And what's more, what does this get you? Nothing! I remember when I was younger, there were so many things I hated to do. I hated getting up in the morning to get ready for school. I hated having to study hard so I could pass a test. I hated having to go to school five days a week. I hated when Sunday rolled around and that meant having to get ready for another school week. Then all that hate turned into, I hated getting up to go to work. I didn't like some of my co-workers and visa versa, and I hated having to deal with them. I hated dealing with rush hour traffic. I hated winter time because your job didn't care how much snow fell, you had to still report for duty. I hated, hated, hated, hated every damn thing.
I've chronicled most of my life through journals. When I go back and read where my mindset was then compared to now, I want to kick myself. I suppose that old saying "youth is wasted on the young," is so true. If I knew then, what I know now, I never would have wasted all that time dreading, hating, disliking and complaining about everything I was forced to do in my life. Looking back, I had no way to control these things, but I complained anyway. It's really awful that it took me all these years to finally get the one thing that was a constant in my life~~hating everything. I realize now I really don't give a shit anymore and it feels so good to actually say that and truly mean it.
I've learned to savor my moments. No matter how great or how terrible those moments may be, I savor them like a great Sunday dinner. As I write this post to you, I am savoring the moment, as I'm writing. I don't care about the next second, minute or hour. I don't care that the next day will be Sunday because all that matters at this very moment is that I'm living in it and savoring the time I've been granted. Sure there are things I have to do over the weekend to prepare me for the work week ahead, and it doesn't bother me. Sometimes I get tired and a bit agitated by doing the same things over and over, but I handle my business, as a woman should, and keep it moving and deal with whatever comes my damn way. As far as tomorrow, I don't worry over it because I don't know if I'll be here tomorrow. I don't worry about yesterday because I already did yesterday. I don't even worry about today because as it forges ahead, I don't know what will come of it, so I just deal with the here and now. Currently, it's Saturday afternoon, and I'm enjoying it. Who the hell cares what is going to happen three or four hours from now? It's the present and that's all that concerns me.
Nothing destroys a great weekend like a Monday. I used to detest Mondays, and, although I've grown mentally a lot, I still don't like them, but guess what, it is what it is! So when Monday rolls around, I do my regular routine and head on out to work, do my job, deal with what is thrown at me, and take my tired self home and do my regular routine at home. I read for four or five hours, and then take myself to sleep, and start the routine all over again, and guess what, so what, who the hell cares?! Do you see my point? I've learned to live within my moments and savor them. I savor each and every day no matter what I'm doing. When I'm on vacation, I savor my time with my family. When I'm at work, I savor my time with my work at hand, and my co-workers, whether it's a good day or a bad one. It's my moments~~God granted them to me, and it's up to me to make the best of them. Sure, when you're having a good time, you never want that to end, but guess what, everything comes to an end eventually, and I've learned to savor those moments too.
I learned not to complain about life so much, but that's not to say I don't have my moments, pardon the pun (chuckle). I'm human and yes things get on my last damn nerve, but no matter what, I always remember the purpose of that moment, and use it wisely. The Fourth of July fell on a Thursday this year, so many businesses were kind enough to give their employees Friday off, but not all businesses felt that way. Was I pissed that I had to work, no, but I was a little agitated, but guess what, I got up, treated my Friday like I do every Friday, and took my ass to work, put my hours in and I rolled. End of discussion, nothing to add. It was what it was! Did I complain, no, because did that change the fact that I had to go to work? No! Oooh but I heard many others who did. And trust me, I'm not judging~~hell, I used to be just like 'em. I complained about every moment that didn't go along with what I wanted to do. But I don't do that anymore, and it feels good. Who knew that looking at life as a positive could reap so many positive outcomes? Hmmm, that's another savory moment.
So for me, it really drives me nuts when I hear people complaining now. At least when I did complain, I usually wrote it in my journals which brought about why I began to make changes in my perception of things. It horrified me to see how negative I used to think. I couldn't believe I actually wrote some of the things I did. It got to the point that I disliked my thoughts and I didn't like the person I was reading about. It's a real eye opener when you're reading the words you wrote, as if it was like reading someone else's life. That's when I began to think that maybe I needed to work on some things because that wasn't cool feeling so negative about everything. Once I began to see how unhealthy that was, I changed my attitude. And something else I learned about myself I didn't like was when I would sit down with my family at the dinner table to discuss our day, I never had anything good to say. What kind of meal is that when you're the only one at the table spouting anger and negativity. It got to the point I said to my husband, "don't ask how my day was because you already know it wasn't good." Looking back at my comment and knowing I said that to my hubby, that was absolutely out of line and wrong. Why couldn't I contribute a decent conversation without my anger taking the lead?
Being a writer helped me discover things about myself that needed fixing and fast. Once I began to see the things I was doing wrong, I corrected them. Now let me tell you, this certainly didn't happen overnight. It took a few years for me to master my temper and my negativity I used to feel. Once I recognized what my problems were, I was able to deal with them, and of course, I slip back into my old ways every now and again, I've made progress, but I'm certainly no miracle in that respect. I am constantly working on me and making me the best person I can be for my family and closest friends. I don't want to be negative because if there's one thing I do know, when you are a negative person, that comes back on you. I most certainly do not want the negative crap I felt to ever slap me in the face. This is why I am very selective and picky with whom I consider a friend and those I choose to have around me. As soon as I discover a person is too negative, I will retreat and remove myself. Negativity is a disease and it will latch onto any soul that's open to receive it and grow like a damn weed. It's nice to have people tell me what a delight I am to be around and what a positive attitude I have, but like I said, it wasn't always like that. Trust me, the negative forced me to be positive. I've learned from my bad behavior and it's made me a much better person, and I make better decisions because of it.
So the next time you find yourself complaining, especially about things you have no control over, remember to savor your moments. You never know, the very moment you may savor, could be your last. Make your moments count and stop being so negative about everything. Don't let life live for you, you should live your life and savor your precious moments!
Kimberly Ranee Hicks, Author/Poet