Saturday, July 19, 2014

Be a Blessing. . .

Hi All,

I trust that everyone's summer is going well?  You realize we have a little less than five months left to 2014.  I hope you're keeping up with your reading challenges? Now take me for example. If I can get my reading in, work on my own novel and handle all my personal affairs--then. . .what the hell is your excuse?  Ok, so if you don't have a busy schedule like the one I have, you should be getting your reading in.  Don't mess around, it's going to be over before you know it!  Alright, now on to more important business!  (LOL!)

A couple of weekends ago, I advised you I'm hard at work writing a new novel, which I am happy to report is coming along nicely.  In fact, it's coming along so well, it scares me. It's really strange because the last time I felt that way was when I wrote my first two books, so I suppose this is a good thing.

I'm growing and learning each day and I assume the butterflies-in-my-stomach-feeling is much like the entertainer who is about to grace the stage and sing his heart out.  I once heard when an entertainer stops feeling terrified before performing, you've lost your edge. And hearing or reading that, not sure which, just confirms how I feel about my own talent. When I didn't feel anything through my three year hiatus, I had lost my edge.  The butterflies no longer stirred and I was just dormant, dead and lifeless.  

It feels good to have some happiness stir within me. I don't feel as depressed as I was, but during that whole time, I remember my husband made a comment to me that sort of snapped me out of my funky mood.  It was one of those evenings where there's nothing on TV and we were lying in bed during our 'pillow talk' and I mentioned to him how bad I had been feeling about my writing abandoning me, and not feeling like myself for so long, etc. He said into the darkness, "Kim, you are a blessing and God has never abandoned you. You're a healer and someone will need your words to get them through.  It's just a rough patch, and you've been going through some things personally, and it feels like the world is ending for you, but it's ok.  You're going to be ok! Continue to be the blessing God intended you to be."

I was stunned by his words.  My husband can be deep sometimes, but that really hit me in a place I thought was gone.  My inner soul--my words that speak to me and tell me what I need to be doing.  His kindness made me cry because for a while there, I truly thought I was losing it.  I don't ever want to experience writer's block quite like what I had again!  I don't think I can bear the pain of it.  

In all my life, my words never left me for an extended period of time.  My words had bolted away from me like the tears running down my face.  There didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason as to their abandonment except for the fact, I had to go through some things. Too bad they kept me out of the loop!  How was I to know this was a part of a process. The words could have at least warned a sista of their plans!  (LOL!)

Needless to say, I thanked my hubby for his words because they gave me the strength to do what I needed to do.  They sparked that much needed fire to get me heated again.  I feel so invigorated, alive and full of energy.  All I want to do is write, write, write, but I can't. What I do is write notes and then when I have time to workout the chapter, I'll do that.

Funny, the very words that left me, my husband gave them back.  "Be the blessing God intended me to be." Well ain't that something!  That's exactly what I plan to do. He will never know how much that meant to me for him to say such a beautiful thing!    

Until next time, be safe, be positive, and live life to the fullest!

Kimberly Ranee Hicks, Author/Poet/Reviewer

Be A Blessing!